First day of work and it went well. I think I impressed them,. I helped fix a machine that the guy there had been working on for a couple weeks. I got all the indoctrination and propaganda finished. Talked to my superior and brought up some ideas and they were well accepted. Now I'm just ready to get at them. Get to work time. Prove I can do all the things I told them I could. I believe I can, as long as I can keep my motivation high and jump in there and get going.
Still it seems like a hollow victory. Coming home to an empty house, no family here at all. This is no way for me to live. I need my family here with me, my wife, my kids. not a different wife or different kids. Not someone elses family, mine. The family I built and loved, I need it, or going to work is just a distraction from all the things I don't have. It's just something to keep my mind off of the fact that there is noting else to do. If I had my family I could excel at this job because I love it and because I'm good at it and because I'm strong. Without them I may still excel but it'll be because I have nothing else to do and I don't want to go home I want to stay at work because it's all I have. I need my wife. Andrea I need you to fill my life with love and meaning again.
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